


I was only trying to protect you

by Icetor



Series: Drug au [1]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Addiction, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Animal Characteristics, Catra is still a cat though, Drugs, F/F, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Modern AU, Panic Attacks, References to Drugs, minor self-harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:53:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26141416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icetor/pseuds/Icetor
Summary: Catra is upset when she gets home and tries to take the pain away. Adora is extremely worried  about her girlfriends substance abuse. CW For drugs minor self harm and panic attacks.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Series: Drug au [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1904521
Comments: 9
Kudos: 63
Collections: "I was only trying to protect you!"





	I was only trying to protect you

**Author's Note:**

> This is the ficlet for a collab where myself, tshjortile and windbloom! The prompt for this week was "I was only trying to protect you"
> 
> Huge thanks to Tshjortile for beta reading while i snoozed :3 You should check their fic out! I'll link it at the end.
> 
> This is my first fanfiction ever so please be at least a little kind criticism is perfectly acceptable. Also the drugs are kept intentionally vague as I feel uneducated on them and didn't want to misrepresent something that many very real people do struggle with. :3

Adora perks up as the lock clicks Catra’s key sliding into it, the door opening shortly after. “Hey you!” She calls out as Catra enters the apartment tossing her shoes off. Catra waves her greeting off and takes off to the bathroom. Adora’s eyes narrow as she follows. “Rough day Today?” She calls out to which she just receives a grunt as Catra rounds the corner to the bathroom. Adora puffs out a breath of air rolling her eyes, leaning against the wall waiting. 

Catra shuts the door roughly behind her. She’d apologize to Adora later, right now she just needed to feel nothing. She tries to block out the day’s events as they stream through her mind resolving to bring support if she ever visited her mom again. She checks under the sink for her stuff, confused when she doesn’t find it. Shrugging she goes for her other hiding place, back of the toilet, and grunts in frustration when she doesn’t find it. 

Catra unlocks her phone scrolling through her contacts until she reaches her guy. She shoots him a text asking if he is busy because apparently she was out. She couldn’t have blown her stash that fast, could she? Maybe she was going too hard… Her phone buzzes, distracting her train of thought. “Sorry Catra, Adora talked to me and said I shouldn’t sell to you anymore. She seemed pretty serious. You should talk to her.” 

Catra’s mind buzzes as she reads the text over and over again. Adora told him not to sell to her? And he’s listening? Does Adora know what kind of stress she’s under? Does Adora know how much she needs a hit at a time like this? Does Adora even love her? 

As her overthinking spirals lower and lower into oblivion she grows more and more frustrated. Finally, with a shout, she kicks the toilet which proves to be a bad idea as her toes crunch against the side. She gasps in pain and there is a knocking on the door. “Are you okay in there?”  
“I’m fine! Don’t Come in!” She shouts a little too harshly holding her aching foot. The door pops open a crack and Adora gasps rushing in.

“What happened?” She gets down to try and pull Catra’s hands away “Let me see.” 

Catra shrinks away from Adora’s gentle hands almost afraid, her anxiety still buzzing around her brain making even the most neutral gesture seem hostile. “Don’t worry I just stubbed it…Just leave me alone Adora.” 

“Catra, what’s wrong?” She wasn’t going to let up that easy, not after thinking she had lost her before. Catra pushes her away, grunting with effort.

“Where is it Adora!? Where is my stuff? I need it!” She shouts accusingly, her ears lowered, aggression etched into her face. Pain crosses Adora’s face, she had never seen Catra look at her like that, so full of vitriol and hatred. 

“I tossed it. It’s gone Catra.” She replies, her words sounding hollow. “It’s all long gone by now.” Catra’s hands are shaking as she processes the words. Why would Adora do that? So it was true? She told her guy not to sell to her, she’s trying to cut her off. How could this happen? What did she do wrong? Does Adora hate her? Adora is going to leave and it’s all her fault. What did she do wrong? She can’t remember what she did wrong as she descends further and further into the panicked state of mind. She’s going to leave and it’s all my fault. I won’t have anyone left if, no when Adora leaves. 

Catra claps her hands over her ears as the reality starts to set in. Her chest feels so tight. Tight...it's so hard to breathe...Is someone calling her name? It all sounds so far away. Why is the room spinning so much... 

“Catra! CATRA!” Catra has curled up and is hyperventilating, digging her claws into her temples just enough to draw blood. Her eyes are unfocused and she isn’t responding to anything Adora does. She can’t think of anything to do besides hold her. She gently takes her hands away from her face so she can’t hurt herself anymore, her grip light so that Catra’s panic attack doesn’t get worse. “Come back to me Catra! PLEASE” 

Catra’s head is spinning and she is shivering as she tries to ground herself. She counts things she can see in the room...toothbrush...shower..shampoo...adora’s eyes. Those counted as two, right? Adora! She’s looking at her so intensely. Her eye’s flick back and forth between Adora’s eyes searching for answers to a million questions about what their relationship means to her and if it’s going to end. 

With a sudden gag her stomach lurches and she covers her mouth as spots start swimming in her eyes. She watches the lights fly like little fireflies and she realizes she needs to throw up. She pushes Adora out of the way mumbling a “move” as she forces her way past. Her stomach heaves as she crouches over the toilet and Adora cringes as she retches, watching from a concerned distance. A flush later she’s wiping her mouth off with a groan, panting still, but in much bigger gasps as she catches her breath and tries to clear her head. 

“So that’s it then.” Catra finally says. “It’s going to end like this. You’re gonna cut me off and finally toss your druggy girlfriend in the trash.” She spits out her tail bristled and her ears lowered, pain etched in her eyes as they meet Adora’s. Adora’s heart wrenches at the fear written all over Catra, she reaches out to her, clasping one of her hands tightly.

“Of course not! How can you say that Catra?!” Adora shouts her pupils wide as she grips Catra’s hand protectively. “Catra I love you! I…” She falters when Catra doesn’t react to the words her stare turning more and more blank. 

“But you cut me off….you hate me…” Her anxiety is taking full control of her brain. “Why else would you?” 

“Because I'm scared, Catra! I’m scared of losing you! I’m trying to protect you!” Adora swallows hard. “It...it feels like everytime you come home you are either high or ‘need’ to be high. I hardly ever get to spend time with you sober and it scares me because I feel like I’m losing you.” She pauses to sniffle. When did she start crying? Catra looks concerned but Adora can’t stop now. “I’m not even sure the last time we went on a date! I...I feel like I don’t even know the real you anymore, Catra.” Catra’s eyes widen as she takes the information in. 

“You don’t hate me?” she is finally responding to Adora’s touch shifting a bit closer, her tail whipping back and forth betraying her anxiety. “I l-love you too, you know...idiot…” Adora smiles, a choked laugh escaping her at the term of endearment. Catra feels her cheeks heat up a bit, showing weakness never was what she was good at. 

“Of course I don’t hate you Catra!” Catra becomes aware of the pain in her head and winces and Adora’s eye’s widen as she sees blood drip from Catra’s chin. “You’re hurt hold still.” She digs underneath the sink finding some bandaids, rubbing alcohol, and cotton balls. “This may sting a bit.” Adora says as she pours some alcohol onto the cotton ball. Gently, Adora takes Catra’s chin in one hand, turning to view the left side, and slowly dabbing the cotton ball on the shallow scratch on her temple. Catra winces, a whine building in her throat at the pain filling her head. “I know sweetie.” Adora says soothingly. 

Adora gently cleans Catra up, sticking bandaids on and smiling a bit. “There you go.” She pulls Catra into a hug. Catra, still a bit despondent, clutches Adora’s back weakly. 

“I love you…” Catra whispers like it’s the last time she’ll ever be able to say it. Adora’s heart swells as she cradles Catra nuzzling into her neck. 

“I love you too baby. I promise.” Adora coos, smiling softly into Catra’s fur. A quiet rumble erupts from Catra’s chest and Adora giggles as the tension in the room eases. “Come on, let’s get out of the bathroom.” She says flashing Catra a winning smile. It’s infectious and Catra can’t help but give a tentative smile too. She’s still shaken to her core, but something tells her that she’s going to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Whew! That was a bit heavy wasn't it? Feeling down? Maybe go check out Tshjortile's fic! It's far more lighthearted and a heck of a good time :3
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/26091211
> 
> Edit! Windbloom also graced us with their fic!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/26174422
> 
> I may come back to this later as well I have ideas for the two of them in this au and there are so many details buzzing around my head, and it makes me excited!!!


End file.
